


4:00 A.M.

by renjunsmilk



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cigarettes, Complicated Relationships, Drinking, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Tattoos, yumark in the brain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24936826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjunsmilk/pseuds/renjunsmilk
Summary: Mark knows Yuta won't stay.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 7
Kudos: 78





	4:00 A.M.

**Author's Note:**

> for hana (@offlinejohnny) happy belated birthday! ^-^

Mark gets a glimpse of the light in the bathroom as he shifts to the other side of the bed. Suddenly, there is a noise in his ears, one that is coming from the pounding in his chest.

The light disappears. And as Yuta comes out of the bathroom, Mark glances to the side table. 4 a.m. "You leaving?"

"You ask that as if you don't know the answer." Yuta scoffs immediately. If there's one thing, Yuta is probably tired of Mark, rather than used to him asking the same question every morning. "You're too sensitive to light, Mark."

Unfortunately, Mark is indeed sensitive to light. Yuta can never leave the apartment at dawn without waking Mark, because Mark always, always wakes up to both the dim light and the buzzing of the old flickering fluorescent in the bathroom.

"Will you be back?" Mark ignores Yuta's comment and proceeds to, maybe, annoy the older even more.

"Mark."

Mark falls silent. He couldn't tell if the sharp mention of his name at the tip of Yuta's tongue meant yes or no. The air conditioner in the room makes an aggressive clicking sound, this happens every time Mark needs a filler for the awkward silences his empty conversations with Yuta creates. Yuta stares at Mark for a good one minute but the latter doesn't realize the statue that Yuta had become, so he starts folding the sheets on the bed. "I'm not going back to sleep," he says.

Mark goes through every single day with the fear of losing Yuta.

 _Yuta._ It echoes in his mind. Ah, Yuta. The guy who assisted Johnny once in that best-loved Tattoo shop near Mark's workplace. The guy who has Mark's name tattooed on his clavicle. And the guy everyone, even Johnny, warned Mark about.

But Mark, of course, did not listen. It's been almost three months since his knotty relationship with Yuta started. And honestly, he himself knows he was dumb for agreeing to date Yuta, or for letting him in to his life at the very least.

Johnny drapes the wet towel on the clothesline at the far back of his shop. "You know he never stayed," he says as he returns to the customer lounge where Mark sits and his financial report awaits.

Mark occupies the tattoo chair, an idea starts to linger in his mind. "If I got a tattoo, will he stay?"

Johnny jerks up from his paperwork, gliding the computer chair closer to the tattoo bed. "What the hell are you saying," he says. It's not a question however. It's just a statement. To make it clear with Mark that he's creating another person in him.

"Funny how my brother wants to tattoo everyone, my boyfriend included, but me."

Johnny sighs at Mark's words, "It's not that I don't want to tattoo you. But Mark, you hate tattoos."

He pulls Mark out of the chair and wipes it off with a damp cloth. "I just don't like the idea of my own brother changing his viewpoint for some blinded love," he adds.

"Bro, shut up." Mark slaps Johnny's shoulder. "You're overreacting!"

 _Johnny_. He is an outgoing person, has a lot of friends, and even though he only owns a tattoo shop, he is successful at that. In fact, all he ever does is work and look after Mark.

"I warned you, didn't I?" He's back at his desk, scribling some cursive letters on to the papers.

Mark whistles softly, disregarding Johnny's question. "I'll see you when I see you, Johnny."

Johnny only nods, his back facing the younger, "Bring me coffee, then."

Mark comes back home, his eyes widening upon realizing Yuta's secondhand mirage is parked in front of his apartment. He hurries his way in, excited. Always excited.

A number of huddled beer bottles greeted him in the living room but Yuta is nowhere near them. There are shards of glasses as well. _What the fuck happened here,_ Mark asks himself. But that's useless, his excitement is wearing off his system, agitation replacing the short-lived wave of elation. He skips his feet away from the mess on the floor, avoiding anything as much as possible.

Mark reaches the kitchen unharmed, but he isn't very happy at the sight of his drunk boyfriend. Yuta is barely even sitting on a chair. His forehead is against the table, but his one hand managed to stay in one of his pockets and the other held an unlit cigarette.

Mark grabs one chair, harshly, with the sole purpose of waking Yuta up. He sat on it; impatient.

"Mark?" Yuta calls out, his breath reeking of mixed strawberry cigarette and strong alcohol. He lifts his head gently from the table. "Why weren't you home?"

"You were never home, Yuta." Mark tells him. Mark wants to tell him more, however. For the first time in the duration of their relationship, Mark finally wants him to know how miserable he had been ever since he dated Yuta.

"What are you scared of, Mark?"

It rings in his ear, like the noise that their old television made. And just like that annoying buzzing sound of their bathroom fluorescent. What is he afraid of, honestly.

If Mark tells him now, he will probably forget about everything tomorrow.

"You." Mark says firmly. "I am scared of losing you," he adds.

Mark isn't crying, he never cries. But his heart, just like every four in the morning when Yuta is about to leave for work, is pounding. His heart wants to break free from his chest.

"You're not gonna lose me, Mark."

Anger, Mark felt nothing but anger. Yuta was obviously lying. He will lose Yuta. On the third month.

Mark met Yuta through Johnny. It was a friday night at a stranger's house, it was a stranger to Mark at least. He was forced to come with Johnny to the party because he was a minor then, and Johnny refused to leave Mark alone in their old house. "Am I even allowed to go? I am seventeen!" Mark had complained, voice raising along with his anxiety of having to face a crowd of unfamiliar faces.

Just like any other introverted teenager who was dragged in a house party, Mark sat at the end of the table in the kitchen with a glass of cold water, not even thinking of trying that mixed alcohol that everyone was drinking. And even if Johnny didn't tell him not to drink, he just knew he won't.

He was staring intently at his glass, half empty, countless of thoughts circling around his mind. Punching Johnny being the dominant idea.

As his nonpermanent hatred for Johnny grew, a plate of chips slid through the table towards Mark. He raised his head to try to recognize the person, but it amounted to nothing but cluelessnes.

"Are you Johnny's brother?" He asked. He had red hair then, and was intimidating in all ways.

Mark's first thought was: _this guy's probably a hoarder of earrings._

"Yeah," Mark told him, straightening his body on the chair. "You are probably Johnny's friend."

"So you are Mark. Yuta," he introduced himself, no handshake, he just sat by Mark on the table. "Yeah, we are kinda friends."

"Kinda?"

"We argue a lot. Like, a lot." He said this with a teethy smile. He obviously meant no offense, he probably just wanted to brag about how close he was with Johnny. "An upright person, your brother is. He is always right, he has to be."

Mark laughed a little at those words. He can't not agree. Johnny, even though he loves partying, is always on the good side.

"You're probably tired. You can stay in Jaehyun's guestroom. It's upstairs, first door to the left." And with that Yuta disappeared into the living room, leaving Mark with the glass of water, and now with a plate of assorted chips.

The encounter with Yuta was definitely not the last one. Before Mark realized it, Yuta was already hanging out with Johnny more often than he used to, probably with the intention of getting close with Mark. Everyone but Mark saw it coming. Yuta was slowly becoming intimate with the younger. And Mark? He was dense.

"I am warning you, Mark." Johnny had to shove in Mark's face back then. But he got a resonating laughter as a reply.

"You are always overreacting! Yuta and I are just friends!" He had told Johnny with full ignorance.

But of course, he jinxed that. He became addicted to Yuta's presence, his scent. And when Yuta dyed his hair back to black and let it grew into a mullet, Mark had gone completely feral. Damn, he wanted to see Yuta everyday. 

But everyone around him and Yuta spoke.

Yuta won't be good.

Yuta drinks. Yuta smokes.

Yuta is a jerk.

Yuta can't stay in a relationship longer than three months.

Yuta will only leave you.

Hell, even Johnny was raged. But Mark knew all of that. He knew Yuta since he was seventeen. And then, he was 19 but he wanted Yuta more and more.

They started dating when Mark was finally 20; Yuta was 24. And as everyone warned him about, Yuta was sweet at the beginning but it wasn't even long after he said yes to Yuta's "be my boyfriend" while they were in a cheap diner, he had already become a beast. He would always get home drunk, wet, and stinky.

Mark wanted to be patient, but Yuta, he was a monster.

It's 4:00 in the morning, Mark wakes up to the light, this time from the living room. The numbers on his phone's screen show a date he was always afraid of coming. 29 June. It's his third month with Yuta. He had cursed this day since.

He knows Yuta won't stay.

He shuffles his way out of the bedroom, there was a soft music playing, and when he sees Yuta, he asks, "You leaving?"

"Mark, I'm sorry about last night." Yuta tells him, ignoring his question. But Mark is more confused, than nervous. Yuta isn't dressed for work, he is just in the living room stirring his coffee. "I was drunk," he finishes.

"I know," Mark sits beside him, "So, are you leaving?"

"I'm not leaving you, Mark, if that's what you always meant by that question."

Mark's body hitches up, his breath deepening.

"Stop lying, Yuta."

Yuta sips from his coffee. Mark can see it. He can see that Yuta is trembling, and something is bothering him.

"Rather than you scared of me leaving, I am more scared that, maybe, you didn't want me to stay."

It was the first time in three months Yuta finally spoke his mind. It was the truth, and nobody knew that. Yuta, he is truly, madly, deeply in love with Mark. But the people around them were the first ones to judge him, because of his past relationships that failed right before everyone's eyes.

What people did not realize was that Yuta feared the idea of losing Mark instead, because he was already known to be the guy who always left. He feared that Mark would leave him first for that very reason. Yuta lowers his head, eyes glued to the floor. His hands are still shaking but he starts talking again, "I was never home, because I was afraid you were tired of me being around. And I was always drunk because I wanted to fight the urge to talk to you and beg you to stay."

"Yuta."

"I'm sorry, Mark. I was never good to you. Please, don't leave me." Yuta couldn't look his boyfriend in the eyes. He fidgets with the teaspoon in his now empty cup. And before he knew it, Mark was in front of him, on his knees leveling their gazes.

The three months with Yuta was one hell of a roller coaster ride, but they can start over, Mark thinks. They were just both scared of things that were not supposed to happen anyway. It's the people. It's their fault. They never stopped talking about other people's business, because they are afraid to talk about their own.

Mark takes the cup away from Yuta's palms. He fills in the older's hands with his as he pulls him up on his feet, "Yuta, I will never leave you. I promise."

"And I will never leave you, Mark. Promise."

It was probably a long overdue exchange of promises, but what can go wrong now right? Now that Mark is sure Yuta will stay.

**Author's Note:**

> phew it was such an abrupt decision to write the yumark in the brain into a yumark au. but thank you for reading!


End file.
